


Fear and Reassurance

by xxMad_Donaxx



Series: Emotions [2]
Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-08
Updated: 2012-07-08
Packaged: 2017-11-09 11:00:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/454704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxMad_Donaxx/pseuds/xxMad_Donaxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anders and Fenris deal with Legacy fall out and something unexpected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fear and Reassurance

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this running around in my head for a while. I was going to try and finish Persistence and Patience first but I've got such a block I'm hoping getting this down might break it. This happens shortly after Act 2.

None of them knew how long they’d been down here, in the Deep Roads. Fenris had the company of these same three people the last time he’d been in these Darkspawn infested caverns. It was similar in almost every way really. Trapped and searching for a way out. The last time he hadn’t cared a wit for the mage walking beside him.

Hawke’s reasoning for bringing Anders was simple. Hawke was a pathetic healer. He was much better at destroying things than he was at repairing them. Their last trip into the Deep Roads, that hadn’t been Hawke’s only reason. Even before Bartrand betrayed them Anders’ Grey Warden senses had been invaluable. 

It was a part of his Mage that Fenris had never really cared about. The Blight was over and there weren’t many Darkspawn wandering the streets of Kirkwall so why should it matter whether Anders was a Grey Warden or not? It hadn’t mattered one bit to Fenris before this unexpected little side trip but it was foremost in his thoughts now.

They were in an old Grey Warden prison, things get in but not out. The Warden ghoul, the one who had revealed the Calling, said the only way out was down. So they had gone down, Hawke opened the seals. Seals that were put there by Blood Magic, renewed when Hawke hadn’t even been born yet by Malcom Hawke.

Hawke was oddly cheerful about the whole thing. Fenris didn’t think he would take the knowledge of his father being a blood mage very well at all, especially after his mother’s death at the hands of a blood mage. His attitude really shouldn’t have been surprising considering Hawke’s attachment to the witch. Fenris knew he wished Carver could be with them but Meredith had denied his request to go with. Anders thought that was a punishment of sorts because Carver hadn’t turned in his apostate brother.

Even though he was still reeling from the knowledge of Anders’ limited time, Fenris couldn’t deal with it now. The more seals that were broken, the further down they went, the closer they got to this Corypheus…the worse Anders became. They could all hear this Darkspawn emissary in some fashion but because of the taint he carried in his blood, Anders could hear it clearly and it was driving him mad.

The only thing Fenris could think of that would help Anders was to destroy the source of his torment. Hawke and Varric agreed with him and they had pushed forward. He watched Anders closely as they walked this slightly curved path. The mage constantly muttered to himself and shook his head every once in a while.

“Stop,” Anders said suddenly. “Just make him stop talking! Make him stop!”

Ahead of them, Hawke and Varric turned as Anders pressed his hands to his temples. “Hang on just a bit longer Anders,” Hawke said. “I think we’re almost there.”

Anders doubled over and groaned. Fenris put his hand on Anders’ back and leaned over a little as he began speaking in a halting pain filled voice. “I can’t…the voices. Wardens…the joining…I have too much taint in my blood. I can’t shut him out. Help me…Fenris…I will not…” Anders stood up straight suddenly and Fenris took a surprised step backwards as the demon inside took control. “…be controlled.” His voice deepened on the last two words but Fenris knew there was still something wrong besides the demon’s influence. Remembering that Anders had once told him that the strange reaction between them always seemed to calm his demon, Fenris closed the distance between them and pressed his palms to Anders’ cheeks.

The reaction was immediate and powerful. The white glow surrounded them both and Fenris grunted as the pulsing magic raced painfully along his markings. He watched Anders’ face contort in agony before the demon relinquished control and he wrenched himself out of Fenris’ grasp. Anders shivered violently and rubbed his arms.

They stood there, staring at one another in silence until Hawke broke it. “What was that?” he asked his voice full of awe.

“It happens when the markings touch his skin…but it’s not usually so…powerful,” Fenris said.

“Or painful,” Anders added in a flat voice.

“That must make sleeping together interesting,” Hawke said cheerfully.

A small smile crossed Anders’ face but was gone as quickly as it had appeared. “Thank you,” he said looking at Fenris. “I fear what this emissary can push me to do.”

“Let’s hurry,” said Fenris.

“Agreed,” Varric said. “The sooner we get rid of this thing the sooner we can leave.”

As they continued on, Fenris walked beside Anders. Fenris looked at him frequently but Anders wouldn’t meet his gaze.

***

A Magister of old, Anders thought as he gazed down at the amulet they had found on Corypheus’ body. Even if creatures like that had caused the first blight, it changed nothing in Kirkwall. Those mages trapped in the Gallows were prisoners. Hawke had said that it didn’t justify punishing mages over a thousand years later and that he agreed with completely. 

This revelation bothered him certainly, but it wasn’t the only thing on his mind as they walked back to Kirkwall. He’d been trying to think of a way to tell Fenris of the Calling. Learning from a Warden that had actually survived his Calling hadn’t been the best way. With all the other problems that had come up he and Fenris hadn’t been able to speak of it.

This future conversation worried him but even that wasn’t what occupied most of his thoughts. It was his loss of control. The first time he’d lost control of Justice since that mess with Ser Alrik. Justice had been very quiet since Fenris had touched him while the spirit was in control. What he remembered was fuzzy but the pain was still fresh in his mind.

It had felt like he was on fire. The pleasant pulses turned into a raging torrent of painful stinging. Another thing he remembered clearly was Fenris’ pain clouded eyes. Neither of them could have known how strong it would be. It had broken the trance Anders had been in. He feared what might have happened if Fenris _hadn’t_ broken it but what if that painful reaction happened again? After all this time he didn’t want to break his promise.

***

Fenris was worried. Anders wasn’t exactly avoiding him but he was hesitant. As soon as the tent they shared had been set up Anders had hidden himself within. Now he stood at the entrance with two bowls of the stew Hawke had cooked, wondering if he’d done something wrong. Slightly irritated with himself, Fenris bent and entered the tent.

Anders sat cross legged in the middle of their bedroll, the amulet they had found around his neck. He looked up at Fenris’ entrance but looked back down to his lap quickly. Fenris sat in front of him and held out one of the bowls.

“Thank you,” said Anders softly.

Silence descended once more but Fenris allowed it to continue while they ate. When the bowls had been set aside and still Anders stayed silent, toying with the bandage wrapped around one of his boots, Fenris broke it. “What’s wrong?”

“I…I’m sorry,” Anders said quietly. Finally Anders met his gaze. There was sadness that tore at his heart. His voice hitched on the last word and his gaze fell back down to his boots. Fenris reached for his hands but Anders backed away from him. “Don’t,” he said fearfully. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Suddenly Fenris thought he understood. He lunged forward, pushing the startled mage to the ground. He sat on Anders’ stomach and pulled his gauntlets off. “Straighten your legs,” Fenris commanded.

He was just confused enough that Anders obeyed his command without comment. Fenris scooted backward until his knees were at Anders’ hips and with one hand keeping him on the ground Fenris put the other to his cheek. Anders closed his eyes and tensed. “Now,” Fenris said as the more familiar pleasant reaction enveloped them both. “What is there to be sorry for?”

“I didn’t…I wanted to tell you about the Calling. You shouldn’t have found out like that but…I just didn’t know how to say it,” Anders said softly opening his eyes.

“No,” Fenris said quietly but gently. “I shouldn’t have. But…I understand your hesitation. It must be hard to tell those you care for that your life will end prematurely.” Fenris rubbed his thumb along Anders’ cheekbone. “There is something else bothering you though.”

“Yes,” Anders said resting his hands on Fenris’ thighs. “I couldn’t…Corypheus in my head…J…couldn’t control him.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “When you touched me…why did you do that?”

“You told me that my touch calms the demon. I couldn’t think of anything else.”

“What if it happens again?” Anders asked his voice almost too quiet to hear. “I don’t want to hurt you. I fear what I might have done if you hadn’t stopped me.”

“No one was hurt,” Fenris said moving his hands to either side of his head. Fenris leaned down as Anders shivered under him. “I’m not angry.” He placed a gentle kiss on Anders’ lips and smirked as he pulled back. “I’ll think twice before doing it again though.”

A small smile graced Anders lips and Fenris slid to the side. They found a small measure of peace for the first time in weeks as they fell asleep in each other’s arms.


End file.
